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"My man has no job for eleven years, I pay rent, light & water bills - need your advice"


Hi Mr. Proppafix

First, I must commend you on the good job you have been doing. I am 28 years old and have been with my children's father for almost eleven years now. Out of the years of togetherness, I am the one who has been working three quarter of the time and when I talk about it, he starts to flare up and behave as if he will hit me. We have bills to pay (rent, light & water bills) and I have to be standing everything. I tried to leave him more than once but we always end up back together.

He is in to inherit some money from family ties and he expect us to get married but I don't really want to stay with him because I think one day he will get really upset and might go as far as hurting me. He always mouths the children on every slip up and that is not right. I think that he can cut them some slack sometimes because no man is perfect. I am in a loop here so please I need your advice.

Sexy Diva


Dear Sexy Diva,

You are supposed to be a man's 'helpmate' that does not mean paying most of any bills unless the brother has just lost his job! Eleven years! You my dear sadly enough has contributed to this man treating you this way. After a few years, I am sure you can tell if a man is a trying brother or just an un-ambitious fellow trying to live off a woman and the fact that you have stayed for 11 years means that you have contributed to creating this monstrosity and you are waiting on this 'inheritance' that may never happen.

Never allow any brother to abuse you or your children. Always remember that you are the first people that your children relate to and if you or their father drill it into them that they are worthless, then I am sorry but that is all they might turn out to be. My advice to you sister is to take yourself and your children away from this man before he harms you and until he proves himself worthy of your love! You are pretty much taking care of yourself now anyway, so leaving him will not put you in a worse situation.

All the best- this is my advice young man - tek it or leave it.

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Comments (26)


as i see it:
Posted by as i see it | April 30, 2009 11:52 AM

i know that job is hard to get but you said he does not work at all so you have kids for him an he is not stepin up to the plate how long will the money last, he,s getting. your life is at a stand still i can,t tell you to move out, but you know what to do,The best thing for your children if you talk to him and its not going anywere do whats best for you ,you are doing by your self any way and the money is his went he get it i hope this help you on your way

Posted by Toni | April 30, 2009 11:55 AM

You no need nobody to tell you to leave.... you shouldn't have to write properfix fi this...

Posted by liongun | April 30, 2009 12:48 PM

You cannot expect the man to change his behaviour after 11 years putting up with him and now you are complaining. That is far too long. Its up to you to decide what to do in terms of a better future for yourself and your children.

Posted by PEACHES20782 | April 30, 2009 2:04 PM

My girl, this question is redundant, run to the nearest exit and leff di man. Him no sick or deh a prison is he handicapped why him cannot work. Pleeese for God sake wake up and smell the blue mountain coffee, your man is a dead beat. It is high time you upgrade him fi one man with a job.
Inna dis yah economy child please, no body no waan no crasses man weh nah help dem. You lucky shuolda me him woulda come home come find him clothes inna a scandal bag pon the front step and me change mi lock.

Posted by Nelly | April 30, 2009 2:29 PM

hold on one-cotton-picking-minute. So wey the man ah du? Is he cooking, washing, cleaning, ironing, painting, sweeping, u name it, him suppose to ah play the housewife nonworking role and doing it ALL. Like Toni said, u dont need advice here, what really is yr di-lem-a in a Recession/Depression time like this?

Posted by rds | April 30, 2009 4:32 PM

Listen girl u deh wid this man fi eleven years a mind him, u can mind uself n u kids dem 2!!!!After a nuh him alone hve dick..a whe him hear bout!!Try lef di man alone...him nuh want u lef him cause him nah go find nuh more idiot fi mind him girl u bettr run like u hear gunfire!!!Or u nuh fraid a gunshot?!!

Laughing My Ass Off:
Posted by Laughing My Ass Off | April 30, 2009 6:11 PM

Girl, your story is a sad one but the comments underneath gimmie a good laugh inna the day yah. You better run like bolt!

Posted by meleon | April 30, 2009 7:35 PM

It look to rahtid like dis man h**d mek out of gold,platinum and all di worlds' most precious gems and spew honey mek u choose fi a mine him fi whola 11years! One h**d can sweet suh? Tree a grow inna u face my girl? Him tie yuh? Him h**d round yuh neck? Mi cyaan undastan...11yrs a wok a mine one long seed man?

Mi naa tell u fi leff yuh man, stay wid him yaa. Nuh leff, if u nuh wake up and si from long time seh u shoulda tekweh yuhself but choose fi siddung breedup fi him, why mi shoulda tell u fi leff? No mi dear, stay. Start wash him and drink all di wata to while waiting fi him family deadleff yuh friggin fool yuh!

Si u sign yah, go standup outa street and hold it up "I AM A BIG JACKASS!"

Posted by Toni | April 30, 2009 8:38 PM

MELEON, Start your our own advice column, lol.... You give it straight and strong... you have mi off mi chair, what she fi do meleon, stand with har sign? lol....

Posted by sexyllisha | April 30, 2009 10:35 PM

i dont really need to comment i think meleon beat me to it a must gold hood wid honey seed the man have for real....

but you know why you and the man cyaan lef i bet everytime you leave him find you and work him way back in your life cause guess what him nah go find another woman out there to take care of him the way you do while him cock up a yard nah do nothing but degrade you and you pickney dem cause in you letter it sound like him a act like him want beat you off too.Honey you a take care a everything you self already just put the raas man out and do you own ting. Nuff cocky deh a road a Jamaica a walk up and down if a dat you feel you need cause a cant financial support you a look....
thats my two cents.

Posted by meleon | April 30, 2009 11:53 PM

Hail up Toni and Nelly and all Outaroad massive!

Mi have one last ting to seh to Miss Sexy Diva (u is no Diva...not by a long shot, nuh fool uself!). U si when di likke dead leff money come tru if it ever come tru...yuh naa get none! Mark mi words...dat man not gwine want u again! Him gwine find a smart gold digga weh him gwine happy fi spen him money pon...but stay wid him my girl and gwaan hold up di sign weh mi gi u.

Lady Niceness:
Posted by Lady Niceness | May 1, 2009 6:18 AM

Bwoy Meleon yuh hit d nail pon d head, mi agree wid everythin yuh put dung....Sexy Diva yuh shudda leff d man 10 years ago....go fine a real man yuh young still...think a yuh pickney a waste man

Posted by Nelly | May 1, 2009 9:52 AM

Meleon, Meleon, Meleon...thank goodness mi boss nuh deh ya...LMAO.....I got tears in my eyes....oh my, its way too early to be laughing like this pon the people dem wuk.

I agree with you 100% percent.

Posted by DCN | May 1, 2009 12:36 PM

@Meleon: I don't know what to say because you have said it all. You should be on stage or responding to all colums. From Jamaican/Canadian north, thank you, it's a pleasure reading YOUR reccomendations.

Posted by Toni | May 1, 2009 12:37 PM


Posted by CUG | May 1, 2009 1:18 PM

Reading from yuh story mi caan see sey dis a man yah has a free mentality. Him a nuh man at all, him a man to. so u need fi go find a man. 11 years, dat is some crazy shit years fi a man a sid down and nuh wuk. Him nah set nuh example fi di pickney dem either, so u need fi run wey di bouy cause him anuh man.

Posted by Heathen | May 1, 2009 2:35 PM

Di ongle loop u inna is di one u create for yourself. The letter sound as silly as you. Whether u go or stay is entirely up to you. Di Bible say u nuh fi feed a lazy man..u not only feeding him, u doing everything for him and bringing his seed into the world. Why should he work? you can do all the work and he live free. Him even so lazy dat him couldn't teck u to a Courthouse and meck a wife out of you after 11 yrs together and 3 children. So now, wah kind a wukliss man want to live off the avails of family inheritance. If smaddy didn't work hard and buss their butt, he wouldn't have anything to inherit and he is a loser because he will have nothing to leave to his children. Even di Bible say a man must work suh him can leave an inheritance fi him grandchildren. Mi girl you man wukliss and u wukliss fi have had 3 kids by him and minding him all dese years. At dis stage is your life or a life of misery. Anyway u teck it , him not going to let you are his Maid, Sex slave, Minder and Benefactor..him will kill you before him let you go and you know it too.

Wah di solution fi u..fasting and prayer and divine deliverance is u ongle hope. Love and peace sister.

Posted by Nelly | May 1, 2009 3:52 PM

@Toni - Yes Toni, with out a doubt, Meleon can run the column....Sorry Mr. Proppafix mi nah try fi box food outta you mouth but whenever a letter ded pon the site, mi just kick back and wait pon Meleon's response. I have about 5 others wey mi send Mel's response to and they LOVE it.

Meleon - Gal (no disrespect) Yu Good!

Posted by Protina | May 1, 2009 4:14 PM

lol crazy diva a proppa fix u waan fi tell u fi left...I cant understand crazy ass females like u who keep spending pon man wah nuh worth it at all....

JaH Empress:
Posted by JaH Empress | May 1, 2009 7:04 PM

Lol. Hey mi haffi visit da site ya more often. Some real comedians deh pon da site ya.

Posted by meleon | May 2, 2009 7:06 PM

LOLOL Toni and Nelly, unnuh mine unnuh mek ProppaFix hunt mi dong wid him piece a 2x4 innuh!

@DCN: Hailup and thanks fiddi biggup.

But fi true, dem ooman yah need fi stop buy cakky now! It out deh free free and mi nuh si why one ooman fi a wok a mine one man and put up wid him shit fi suh long and den have di heart a call arself "Sexy Diva". Chuh...nuh mek mi start again yaah.

@Lady Niceness and Sexyllisha, unnuh done know dem sitten deh cyaan happen to wi. Tek care a unnuhself...more time

Tacious is a GOOD LOOK:
Posted by Tacious is a GOOD LOOK | May 4, 2009 10:28 PM

Meleon oh man I'm crying from laughter from your comments!!

Posted by meleon | May 5, 2009 7:24 AM

@Tacious! Good ting mi decide fi stop yah dis mawnng. Girl it good to si u again! Weh yuh did deh mah? Welcome back mi chile.

Tacious is a GOOD LOOK:
Posted by Tacious is a GOOD LOOK | May 5, 2009 5:53 PM

Thank you Meleon! I was just finishing up school and ting and now I'm out for the summer. You know I had to roll through and show some love to the crew! :)

Posted by Can | May 5, 2009 8:54 PM

He's gonna leave ur a*s as soon as him get him inheritance. And why should'nt he, u've proven urself to be a dumbass.

Posted by Tisha101 | May 12, 2009 8:51 PM

dis girl soun stupid...mi caan believe it tek yuh 11 years fi figure out seh di man weh yuh ave is girl pack up yuh tings n lef di john crow him dont deserve yuh at all...n BTW ur no DIVA cuz diva ave dem head pon dem body unlike u...

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